Over the past three months I've spent a lot of time dealing with those pesky skeletons that fell out of the closet back in September. I've reconnected with a friend from high school who I have neglected to keep in touch with for the past three years and have managed to get in touch with both Sneller and Jack again. I've even hung out with Jack twice in the last month, probably more than I did my entire last year in Lake City. Sneller and I have reconciled our past falling out and are pushing each other's buttons via e-mail to see if we can build a new friendship with all our current differences. I've begun writing again, this blog, my personal journal, and other endeavors. I've opened up a little more to everyone, especially Jen and Jack, and I've talked about things I never thought I would.
Those are all the things that have changed, so what's stayed the same? I still pull back into my own little world when I should be telling people what I'm thinking. I still withdraw and give the answer "nothing" when asked what's wrong though it's obviously not the case. I'm still afraid of some of the same things I have spent the last three months trying to get over. And, in many ways I'm still unsure of what to do next.
I know I can't prevent the inevitable and it will certainly hurt when it happens. I know I'll have to one day face that pain head on but I can't spend my life afraid of it. "Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance" ... I guess it's time to dance.
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