The days are getting longer, more sunshine in my morning commute and few evening hours spent at home during the week. I appreciate this, along with the warmer temperatures spring always brings. However, I desperately wish that summer would hurry up this year.
Spring has always left me feeling a little morose since as far back as I can remember, at least as far back as seventh grade anyway. While most kids at school were looking forward to playing outside in the warming temps and sunshine we had gone months without seeing, I was sitting on the sidelines of life wondering why I was so down. Given everything else that was going on in my life at the time, it was not out of the ordinary for me to be bummed and I never gave the timing of it much thought. Now, as an adult who has not been suicidal in decades, I find it a bit strange that every spring I get this same “dumpy” feeling that seems to cast a dark shadow over everything in my life.
When winter has faded to a recent memory of skiing and snowboarding adventures, but before it is nice enough to get out on a bike or boat, I am left with plenty of time that would otherwise be spent playing. This fact has not changed since my early school days. Maybe it's the extra time that allows my brain to wander back in time, to remember all the good times I had and people I once knew. Maybe it is the downtime I don’t allow myself to have during the busy months of summer and winter that leave me so blue in spring and fall. Maybe. Or could it be simply that the timing is a coincidence?
Whatever the case may be, it seems that every spring I find myself longing to return to my days as a camper at The Timbers. I knew that place was special the moment I set foot out of the car my first summer, but I had no idea just how much it would affect my life. As a self proclaimed misfit in school, my time spent at The Timbers was often the only place I was free to be myself, and I managed to make friends easily. I got along with girls from all walks of life, learned how much in common we all had no matter the skin color, religious background, or environment in which we spent the rest of our lives. All of us came with our own baggage, our own prejudices and fears, yet by the end of the two weeks, we were all family and few of us was ever ready to leave that special place.
I learned a lot about others, and life in general those four great summers, but I’ve discovered over the years that I learned a lot about myself there as well. I met people there who have been life long friends, some with large gaps in communication, and some who never strayed far. I remember names and faces of those I had the most fun with, and some I never got the chance to get to know though I desperately wanted to. I remember paddling a canoe in 3 foot waves on Long Lake for a day trip to the beach, then getting sick from too much sun and not enough liquids and being driven back to camp. I remember learning to do The Hustle, or at least Turtle’s version of it, on an overnight to Olsen’s Island and fending off “Drop Bears” with pie irons.
I remember days of little to no wind on Elk Lake and being so frustrated with our inability to sail that I jumped in the water, clipped the painter to the back of my life jacket, and swam the lightning back to the dock at the campground. I remember sneaking out of my tent with Chowder, hiking down the steep hill to the lake shore, and spending most of the night talking and singing Casey’s song under the stars. I remember tripping over a picnic table in Northport and not being able to finish my GTST trip, and I remember the beauty of Isle Royal witnessed in a way that only a backpacker can see it. Those are the events that quickly come to mind when I start to think about my time at camp, but for every one I listed here, there are hundreds more! I remember the good, along with the bad. I remember meeting new girls, reuniting with old friends, and the pain of saying good bye at the end of our time together.
So here it is, spring in the air once again, and once again I find myself thinking of and, yes missing camp. I would love to go back there, to walk the road from the barn to the dining hall in silence. To hear the laughter of girls like ghosts in the wind. To feel the presence of all those who have been touched by the experience of being a Timbers Kid and, like me, have left a piece of themselves there. I long for the comfort of those friendships that made me whole for two weeks at a time each summer.
If only I wasn’t an adult with adult responsibilities and obligations. I don’t miss my childhood, not one tiny bit, but I do desperately miss camp!
Showing posts with label Timbers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Timbers. Show all posts
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The death of a Timbers icon
This has taken about a week to both write and post, sorry for the delay and for the lack of postings over the last week but as tends to be the case when things like this happen in my life, the writings have not been things I wish to post in the public domain. So last week as some of you loyal readers may know, a friend, an acquaintance, someone I use to know passed away after a lengthy battle with cancer. She was the director of Camp Timbers in Traverse City, MI when I was a camper there back in junior high and high school and not someone I ever knew well, or thought much about over the years that have passed since becoming an adult. When I learned of her passing, I spent a little time reflecting on some of those memories from camp and have realized a few things I never noticed back then.
I suppose it is typical that we overlook those who manage to stand in the background and oversee events in our lives. SAK was management, in charge of making sure we campers, and the staff she hired to care for us, followed every rule. She was an authority figure in my life and at that age it placed her squarely on the side of the enemy a lot of the time. Now that I am a little older and a lot wiser, when I think back over my years as a camper at The Timbers, SAK was always there. She was the first face I saw every summer at check in. She always greeted me with a smile, knew my name, what program I would be in without looking at her clipboard, and was genuinely happy to see me arrive each session. While I was at camp there were moments I spent alone in quiet conversation with her, not many in the first two years but certainly more than once in my final two. I had forgotten about those. I had forgotten how concerned she was the year I was removed from my GTST trip due to injury, and eventually sent home Friday morning for another much darker reason. I had forgotten that she called my house the day after I went home that year to find out both how my hand was doing and how my “other” appointment went. I had forgotten that she called the house to speak to me the following spring when my camper registration came across her desk for the Isle Royal trip. She wanted to see how I was doing and make sure that it wasn’t a mistake in registration since I had always been a sailor. And, that year when I arrived at camp for my session, it was SAK who took time out of her day for another quiet talk and asked my permission to share some info with my counselors, one of which had been a staff member the previous year and remembered me as Shane The Klutz.
As director of The Timbers, it was also SAK who had the final say in what staff would be hired each summer, what groups they would be assigned to each session, and as a result of that, what staff I would get the opportunity to spend two weeks with. Those decisions, while seemingly insignificant, impacted the direction my life would take form the first moment I set foot at The Timbers. My first year there SAK hired a short and spunky college girl who went by the camp name of Kool-Aid to be the waterfront director. It took a few days at camp, and one evening of Frisbee football, for me to warm up to her but that relationship is one that never went away even with a large age difference and hundreds of miles separating us. Most of you would know of her as Stacey, her name appears here on occasion. The following year I did two sessions of camp and found myself in a Windjammers group with Tigger as a counselor. There is a much longer story behind my connection to Tigg but suffice it to say, she too has remained a part of my life since. The Timbers, under the direction of SAK was a safe place for me during a rough time in my life. Each summer I loved every moment I spent there and the remainder of the year, I looked back upon my summer with fond memories and forward to what the next summer would bring. There were times when the hope of returning to The Timbers to reunite with friends from previous summers was all that kept me going and it was with a heavy heart that I walked out of camp on the last day my final year. I knew an era of my life had just ended and I would be leaving behind my carefree camper days in search of something to fill that void the next summer. And, with one exception I have not been back to The Timbers since.
So much of my memories of sun drenched days on sailboats and hiking across Isle Royal have faded over the years. It is a sad fact of getting older and creating new memories to fill those creases of my brain. But one thing remains even after all these years, the friendships I made over those years, the songs we sang each night after dinner and on our trips around the campfire, the sense of belonging someplace in a world I never felt a part of most of the time, and the people who made all of that possible. Joann downing, SAK, was a big part of that both in her management and her personality. She has forever left an imprint on my life and in many ways has succeeded in sending me in the right directions, one of her goals for all of those she worked with over her lifetime.
Below is the obit from the flint journal, an entry I made to her Virtual Guest book, and a photo i "borrowed" from someone who uploaded it to that guest book.
Joann Arlowyn Downing
She was preceded in death by her mother, Arlowyn (Terry); aunts, Joann Owen, Jeanne Carlson; uncle, Don Carlson; cousin, Byron Owen. The family would like to thank all of her extended family and friends and the staff at McLaren CCU unit for DOWNING, Joann Arlowyn - Age 53, of Flint, died January 7, 2009 after a 13 year long courageous battle fighting breast cancer. Funeral Service will be held 3 PM Sunday, January 11, 2009 at the Hill Funeral Home, 11723 S. Saginaw St., Grand Blanc, MI. Visitation will be Saturday 3 to 8 PM. Joann was born November 7, 1955 in Detroit, daughter of Kenneth D. and Arlowyn (Terry). Joann graduated from Grand Blanc High School in 1973, and earned a Bachelor of Science degree with honors from MSU in 1978. She resided in the Flint and Ann Arbor areas for most of her life. She worked for the Greater Flint Arts Council as Development Director. Worked for Big Brother, Big Sister as Marketing & Fund Director, the Girl Scouts Fair Winds Council as Properties & Outdoor Program Director, YWCA of Metropolitan Detroit as Program Director. She was a City of Flint Human Relations Commissioner, and was involved in Rotary, Kiwanis, and the Gender Equality Committee of Genesee County. She is survived by her father, Kenneth; sister, Karen (Earl) Downing, Michelle (Rick) Wright, Suzanne McVey; brother, Kenneth II; nieces, Zana Downing Cook, Nicole (Dave) Read, Andrea Wright, Rachel Downing; nephews, Rich Wright, Seath (Nicole) McVey, Shane McVey, Seamus (Kelly) McVey, and Joshua Downing; great-nieces, Haley Wright, Jillian McVey and Erin McVey. their care and compassion. In lieu of flowers donations may be may be made to the American Cancer Society or the Greater Flint Arts Council.
The guest book entry ...
When I sat down to write this I was at a loss for words. Joann Downing is a name I haven't heard much over the last 13 years and have only run into once or twice in that time. It's safe to say I didn't know her all that well, yet the news of her passing has struck a chord deep in my soul.
I am a Timbers Kid and had the blessing of growing up a Timbers Kid while Joann, SAK as I knew her then, was the director. Every summer I was greeted at check-in with a warm smile, a friendly hug, and an enthusiastic "Hey Shane great to see you again!” As a camper I knew her from a distance much of the time, though there were a few quiet camper-to-staff chats over the years that allowed me a glimpse into who she really was and, I always knew that she had the best interest of those she worked with at heart and cared deeply about each and every one of us. However, it wasn't until I got older that I realized how much being a Timbers Kid, particularly one under the direction of SAK, actually affected my life and just how many lessons I took away from those experiences. Though I didn't spend much time with Joann directly, she was influential in my life in other ways. It was her choices of what staff to hire that had the most direct impact on my day to day life and allowed me to befriend some who are, after 17 years, still a part of my life. Her rules may not have been appreciated by all, particularly by some of the staff who had to abide by them against their better judgment, but they were a necessary part of the job. It's the staff and campers I spent my time with during my camp years that I remember most, but Joann was always there in the background making things run and allowing kids like me a special place to go for two weeks each summer where we could be ourselves.
In the few times I have run into Joann since my last year as a Timbers camper, she always recognized me and greeted me with that same warm smile and a "Hey Shane great to see you again!" Her legacy will live on for generations to come by those of us who know she touched our lives in some way and, in far more cases, by those who have no idea who she was or how hard she worked to make programs and places like the Timbers run smoothly. It was her life's work to touch the lives of others, and for thousands more just like me, she did exactly that.
I suppose it is typical that we overlook those who manage to stand in the background and oversee events in our lives. SAK was management, in charge of making sure we campers, and the staff she hired to care for us, followed every rule. She was an authority figure in my life and at that age it placed her squarely on the side of the enemy a lot of the time. Now that I am a little older and a lot wiser, when I think back over my years as a camper at The Timbers, SAK was always there. She was the first face I saw every summer at check in. She always greeted me with a smile, knew my name, what program I would be in without looking at her clipboard, and was genuinely happy to see me arrive each session. While I was at camp there were moments I spent alone in quiet conversation with her, not many in the first two years but certainly more than once in my final two. I had forgotten about those. I had forgotten how concerned she was the year I was removed from my GTST trip due to injury, and eventually sent home Friday morning for another much darker reason. I had forgotten that she called my house the day after I went home that year to find out both how my hand was doing and how my “other” appointment went. I had forgotten that she called the house to speak to me the following spring when my camper registration came across her desk for the Isle Royal trip. She wanted to see how I was doing and make sure that it wasn’t a mistake in registration since I had always been a sailor. And, that year when I arrived at camp for my session, it was SAK who took time out of her day for another quiet talk and asked my permission to share some info with my counselors, one of which had been a staff member the previous year and remembered me as Shane The Klutz.
As director of The Timbers, it was also SAK who had the final say in what staff would be hired each summer, what groups they would be assigned to each session, and as a result of that, what staff I would get the opportunity to spend two weeks with. Those decisions, while seemingly insignificant, impacted the direction my life would take form the first moment I set foot at The Timbers. My first year there SAK hired a short and spunky college girl who went by the camp name of Kool-Aid to be the waterfront director. It took a few days at camp, and one evening of Frisbee football, for me to warm up to her but that relationship is one that never went away even with a large age difference and hundreds of miles separating us. Most of you would know of her as Stacey, her name appears here on occasion. The following year I did two sessions of camp and found myself in a Windjammers group with Tigger as a counselor. There is a much longer story behind my connection to Tigg but suffice it to say, she too has remained a part of my life since. The Timbers, under the direction of SAK was a safe place for me during a rough time in my life. Each summer I loved every moment I spent there and the remainder of the year, I looked back upon my summer with fond memories and forward to what the next summer would bring. There were times when the hope of returning to The Timbers to reunite with friends from previous summers was all that kept me going and it was with a heavy heart that I walked out of camp on the last day my final year. I knew an era of my life had just ended and I would be leaving behind my carefree camper days in search of something to fill that void the next summer. And, with one exception I have not been back to The Timbers since.
So much of my memories of sun drenched days on sailboats and hiking across Isle Royal have faded over the years. It is a sad fact of getting older and creating new memories to fill those creases of my brain. But one thing remains even after all these years, the friendships I made over those years, the songs we sang each night after dinner and on our trips around the campfire, the sense of belonging someplace in a world I never felt a part of most of the time, and the people who made all of that possible. Joann downing, SAK, was a big part of that both in her management and her personality. She has forever left an imprint on my life and in many ways has succeeded in sending me in the right directions, one of her goals for all of those she worked with over her lifetime.
Below is the obit from the flint journal, an entry I made to her Virtual Guest book, and a photo i "borrowed" from someone who uploaded it to that guest book.
Joann Arlowyn Downing
She was preceded in death by her mother, Arlowyn (Terry); aunts, Joann Owen, Jeanne Carlson; uncle, Don Carlson; cousin, Byron Owen. The family would like to thank all of her extended family and friends and the staff at McLaren CCU unit for DOWNING, Joann Arlowyn - Age 53, of Flint, died January 7, 2009 after a 13 year long courageous battle fighting breast cancer. Funeral Service will be held 3 PM Sunday, January 11, 2009 at the Hill Funeral Home, 11723 S. Saginaw St., Grand Blanc, MI. Visitation will be Saturday 3 to 8 PM. Joann was born November 7, 1955 in Detroit, daughter of Kenneth D. and Arlowyn (Terry). Joann graduated from Grand Blanc High School in 1973, and earned a Bachelor of Science degree with honors from MSU in 1978. She resided in the Flint and Ann Arbor areas for most of her life. She worked for the Greater Flint Arts Council as Development Director. Worked for Big Brother, Big Sister as Marketing & Fund Director, the Girl Scouts Fair Winds Council as Properties & Outdoor Program Director, YWCA of Metropolitan Detroit as Program Director. She was a City of Flint Human Relations Commissioner, and was involved in Rotary, Kiwanis, and the Gender Equality Committee of Genesee County. She is survived by her father, Kenneth; sister, Karen (Earl) Downing, Michelle (Rick) Wright, Suzanne McVey; brother, Kenneth II; nieces, Zana Downing Cook, Nicole (Dave) Read, Andrea Wright, Rachel Downing; nephews, Rich Wright, Seath (Nicole) McVey, Shane McVey, Seamus (Kelly) McVey, and Joshua Downing; great-nieces, Haley Wright, Jillian McVey and Erin McVey. their care and compassion. In lieu of flowers donations may be may be made to the American Cancer Society or the Greater Flint Arts Council.The guest book entry ...
When I sat down to write this I was at a loss for words. Joann Downing is a name I haven't heard much over the last 13 years and have only run into once or twice in that time. It's safe to say I didn't know her all that well, yet the news of her passing has struck a chord deep in my soul.I am a Timbers Kid and had the blessing of growing up a Timbers Kid while Joann, SAK as I knew her then, was the director. Every summer I was greeted at check-in with a warm smile, a friendly hug, and an enthusiastic "Hey Shane great to see you again!” As a camper I knew her from a distance much of the time, though there were a few quiet camper-to-staff chats over the years that allowed me a glimpse into who she really was and, I always knew that she had the best interest of those she worked with at heart and cared deeply about each and every one of us. However, it wasn't until I got older that I realized how much being a Timbers Kid, particularly one under the direction of SAK, actually affected my life and just how many lessons I took away from those experiences. Though I didn't spend much time with Joann directly, she was influential in my life in other ways. It was her choices of what staff to hire that had the most direct impact on my day to day life and allowed me to befriend some who are, after 17 years, still a part of my life. Her rules may not have been appreciated by all, particularly by some of the staff who had to abide by them against their better judgment, but they were a necessary part of the job. It's the staff and campers I spent my time with during my camp years that I remember most, but Joann was always there in the background making things run and allowing kids like me a special place to go for two weeks each summer where we could be ourselves.
In the few times I have run into Joann since my last year as a Timbers camper, she always recognized me and greeted me with that same warm smile and a "Hey Shane great to see you again!" Her legacy will live on for generations to come by those of us who know she touched our lives in some way and, in far more cases, by those who have no idea who she was or how hard she worked to make programs and places like the Timbers run smoothly. It was her life's work to touch the lives of others, and for thousands more just like me, she did exactly that.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Fond Memories of The Timbers
So as you can see from my last two posts I'm kind of in a camp mood lately. It started last fall but faded as I got busy with writing and school, I just didn't have time to take trips down memory lane and return to my days as a Timbers Camper. When I had a little free time in December it quickly returned and resulted in a letter being typed up and mailed to someone I knew from my camper days there.
Timbers was the greatest place I knew as a kid. It was a place I was free to be myself, without all the baggage of living in a small town attached to it, and a place I felt safe. I was the outcast in my school from an early age but at Timbers I fit in perfectly. I was able to interact with girls my age who shared many of the same views and hobbies. I found role models in the staff that worked there and many of them became friends outside of camp over the yeas. I fit in for a change. I learned how to sail, make friends, and think about things bigger than what my eyes could see in Small Town America.
I learned a lot about life and myself in those 4 summers spent at The Timbers and it's safe to say it was the one experience in my life that had the most affect on me over the years.
In the off season I would spend time writing to friends and staff I met the summer before. I became pen pals with 3 or 4 new girls each summer and almost always added a new staff member to the list. As the years went on I lost touch with most but managed to become good friends with a few of them. Our lives drifted apart eventually and today, though I think of them occasionally, I am only in frequent contact with two people from The Timbers; both of them, not surprisingly, were staff.
I always seemed to relate better to people older than me as a child and that seems to be the case even today. At the age of 19 I entered the full time work force in the computer industry and have since been surrounded by co-workers who are much older than me. I have managed to find things to talk about and become friends with many of them along the way though on average they are at least 10 years older than me. As I look over the short list of people I would consider good friends today two are younger than me by a couple of years, one is my age and is my only high school friend, and the rest are significantly older than me. I've never had much in common with those my own age and it seems to have carried through to my present life.
I think I can safely say that I would not be the person I am today had I not spent the time at The timbers in my youth. I grew in so many ways it's hard to narrow down what aspects of my life and my personality were not affected by that wonderful place. It will always hold a special place in my heart.
Thank you Mom and Dad for allowing me spend time there each summer. You have no idea how much it changed my life!
Timbers was the greatest place I knew as a kid. It was a place I was free to be myself, without all the baggage of living in a small town attached to it, and a place I felt safe. I was the outcast in my school from an early age but at Timbers I fit in perfectly. I was able to interact with girls my age who shared many of the same views and hobbies. I found role models in the staff that worked there and many of them became friends outside of camp over the yeas. I fit in for a change. I learned how to sail, make friends, and think about things bigger than what my eyes could see in Small Town America.
I learned a lot about life and myself in those 4 summers spent at The Timbers and it's safe to say it was the one experience in my life that had the most affect on me over the years.
In the off season I would spend time writing to friends and staff I met the summer before. I became pen pals with 3 or 4 new girls each summer and almost always added a new staff member to the list. As the years went on I lost touch with most but managed to become good friends with a few of them. Our lives drifted apart eventually and today, though I think of them occasionally, I am only in frequent contact with two people from The Timbers; both of them, not surprisingly, were staff.
I always seemed to relate better to people older than me as a child and that seems to be the case even today. At the age of 19 I entered the full time work force in the computer industry and have since been surrounded by co-workers who are much older than me. I have managed to find things to talk about and become friends with many of them along the way though on average they are at least 10 years older than me. As I look over the short list of people I would consider good friends today two are younger than me by a couple of years, one is my age and is my only high school friend, and the rest are significantly older than me. I've never had much in common with those my own age and it seems to have carried through to my present life.
I think I can safely say that I would not be the person I am today had I not spent the time at The timbers in my youth. I grew in so many ways it's hard to narrow down what aspects of my life and my personality were not affected by that wonderful place. It will always hold a special place in my heart.
Thank you Mom and Dad for allowing me spend time there each summer. You have no idea how much it changed my life!
On The Loose
Chorus:
On the loose to climb a mountain, on the loose where I am free
On the loose to live my life the way I think my life should be
For I only have a moment and the whole world yet to see
I'll be looking for tomorrow on the loose
Have you ever seen the sunrise turn the sky completely red?
Have you slept beneath the moon and stars, a pine bough for your bed?
Do you sit and talk with friends though a word is never said?
Then you're just like me and you've been on the loose
Chorus
There's a trail that I'll be hiking just to see where it might go
Many places yet to visit, many people yet to know
And in following my dreams, I will live and I will grow
On a trail that's waiting out there on the loose
Chorus
So in search of love and laughter I'll be traveling 'cross this land
Never sure of where I'm going for I haven't any plan
And in time when you are ready, come and join me, take my hand
And together we'll share life out on the loose
Chorus
As I sit and watch the sunset and the daylight slowly fades
I am thinking of tommorow and the friendships we have made
I will value them for always and I hope you'll do the same
And forever we'll explore life on the loose
Chorus
Friday, January 11, 2008
Kanga's Song
Walk with me and talk with me and
say you'll be my friend
And together we'll work out harmonies
Our road will never end
Although out roads are different
Just watch as they converge
We've gotta job to do together
our song, it must be heard
Walk with me and talk with me and
say you'll be my friend
And together we'll work out harmonies
Our road will never end
Sisters for the summer
That is what the children say
But little do they know that when they go away
our friendships never fade
Walk with me and talk with me and
say you'll be my friend
And together we'll work out harmonies
Our road will never end
So when you're down I'll build you up and
when you're up I'll laugh with you
And together we'll find a peace of mind
That only friends can find
Walk with me and talk with me and
say you'll be my friend
And together we'll work out harmonies
Our road will never end
Our road will never end
It just seemed to fit today as I read and re-read her letter. I'm still drafting my reply, it seems to have gottena little long. I'll send it soon though.
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