Today, as I walked from my hotel down Market St. toward my office in the Financial District of San Francisco, I was in awe. On every light pole, in so many store fronts and even banks and the US Post Office hangs a rainbow flag. The very symbol of LGBT Pride. In this city, it is a symbol that LGBT people are seen, respected, and welcomed. They hang the entire month of June, known as Pride Month. As a Midwest girl who is still shocked to see rainbow flags displayed on any business in her home state of Michigan, seeing so many of them proudly hanging as far as you can see hit me right in the gut. It’s a feeling few can understand, and I doubt I can even describe accurately, but it boils down to knowing that here, in this city, during this month of the year, my difference is celebrated not hushed or swept under the rug.

I have been a lesbian all my life. Fact. I know it’s shocking to some who meet me for the first time, but in general I fit the stereotypical image they have for lesbians in their head, except that I do not wear flannel. Well not much. My sexuality has not been a real issue in my life since my family finally came to terms with it well over 20 years ago a year or two after I was forced out of the closet my senior year of high school. Their initial reactions were typical of parents in the mid 1990’s actually. They told me they loved me but wanted to be sure I knew what I was ‘getting into’ with this ‘choice’. They were fairly quickly educated on the language and word choice issues, and eventually came to accept both the fact that I was born to love differently than societal ‘norms’ and the partner I chose to spend my life with. My father even states with pride now that he has 4 daughters. Only 3 of us are related by blood, the other is my wife Jennifer.

After leaving life in Small Town America and finding a place where I could blend in a bit more easily as an out lesbian who refused to hide in a closet and did daring things like hold my wife’s hand while walking down a public street, I also found places where there were many more ‘like us’. I shopped LGBT owned café’s and bookstores. I attended PRIDE events and felt at home in a sea of weird, oddly dressed, misfits who all had one singular thing in common. We were societal outcasts because we loved differently. But over the years as society began to accept that LGBT people were not out to convert their children to a lifestyle, or pedophiles who would infect you with AIDS and instead just wired a little differently in the area of attraction and love, those same businesses I once frequented were no longer needed. It became okay to go to dinner and a movie with my wife and not be asked to leave for no reason other than we were clearly more than just friends. I could buy books and stickers over the internet, or at the large bookstores more conveniently located near my home.  And, I no longer needed to attend a PRIDE celebration to feel like I had a community who didn’t judge me.

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Somewhere along the way, the once thriving LGBT subculture was lost as we became mainstream. I always thought this was a good thing. But today, as I walked in to the office, I realized just how much I miss that feeling of acceptance you get when shopping an LGBT targeted business, eating in a café owned and operated by a gay couple, or attending a PRIDE event filled with thousands of people from every walk of life all celebrating their one common difference. I miss feeling like I belong, and it wasn’t until I saw all those flags proudly flying that I realized how misplaced I sometimes feel at home where rainbow flags are seldom seen. Every once in a while, it’s nice to be reminded that we are here, we are queer, and we are welcomed with open arms. So, I challenge you, my friends and family, to show your support in some way. Change your profile pic, find a meme and re-share it showing your support in some way. And, if you dare, stick a rainbow flag outside your business or home this month to let every LGBT person who so often feels unwelcomed and unworthy, that you support them and their right to love differently.

Office politics ... way too much like High School

I guess I was probably a little over due for a reality check on discrimination and discomfort with the whole subject of homosexuality for far too many people out there. It has been a long time since it has slapped me in the face as a reminder that not everyone out there is comfortable with my sexuality and some are down right offended by it. To be honest, I’m a little uncomfortable with the idea of women sleeping with men, but I don’t’ go around telling all the breeders of the world to stop loving who they love and prohibit their rights to equality and free speech.

This all began last Friday when I innocently wore my Dykes on bikes club T-Shirt to work since it was a jeans day. I got a few smirks and second glances as I walked in and up to my desk, but nothing out of the ordinary or all that unexpected. I also managed to get a few compliments on the design and one person asked where they could get one like it. It was a quiet day around the office and I went on with the business of my day, left my desk a grand total of three times, and had extremely limited contact with the rest of my co-workers. Yet, at about 11:30 my direct supervisor came and asked me to come with him. As we passed by his office where I assumed we were headed, he told me we needed to go talk to the Director of our department … never a good thing. I was told that I was in violation of the company dress code because my T-shirt fell into the vague category of “overly controversial” and that I would need to take the remainder of the afternoon off (with pay) because I did not have another shirt to change into. Let the drama begin.

I asked few questions, knowing that the office politics were not worth getting upset over right then and there, returned to my office to close out of all my files, grabbed my bag, and headed to the human Rescources office. It was then that I learned that HR had no idea I was being sent home, seemed a little strange to me, and that the person who was in HR that day could not explain to me why the shirt was so controversial. She requested that I bring it back Monday so that her boss could look into the matter for me. On that note, I left the building at about noon on a beautiful sunny June afternoon and enjoyed my suddenly extended weekend. I had some things I needed to get done before Monday morning, which is what I was working on when I was called away from my desk. I made the decision that if I was not allowed to work my regular schedule to complete those tasks they could wait until next week and the project would simply be delayed a week, no skin off my nose. I didn’t do a single work related thing from Friday at noon until I arrived today at 8:30 to start the new week. Thank you for the time off!
I had time to cool off over the weekend, to let the irritation slide a little bit and approach the issue with a little more political tact that I could have mustered Friday. I scheduled a meeting with the HR manager as directed and took in the shirt so he could look at it. The first words out of his mouth “Wow that’s a pretty shirt. I wouldn’t mind wearing one of these.” Then he attempted to answer my questions and assure me that he will look into the matter for me. He also apologized on behalf of the company that I felt “singled out”. Until that moment, I didn’t realize that everyone else sees this as a clear case of discrimination. I was simply asking why the shirt was controversial, not why I couldn’t wear it. If it doesn’t fit the dress code for jeans Fridays, I won’t wear it. But I need to know why it doesn’t fit so that I don’t wear another shirt that may land me in the same situation. So far, nobody can tell me the answer to that question.

In that short conversation with HR, I don’t feel much better about any of this. If anything, I’m more confused. What I learned is that if one single person is uncomfortable with or offended by a shirt you wear to work you can be sent home, presuming that the dress code is enforced universally. I guess this means that for every Christian, political, sports team affiliated, etc shirt I see that I disagree with I should take my concern to HR rather than being an adult, considering the source, and walking away. I was also reminded that there are people in this office, a place I have been comfortable enough to be out from the moment I walked in on my first day, that are so uncomfortable with my sexual orientation that merely being reminded of it is offensive to them. Seeing gay pride colors or slogans on my shirt, or the trade marked name of a lesbian motorcycle organization makes them so uncomfortable that they can’t get their work done if it is in the building. Yet those same people see nothing wrong with spouting Bible verses, wearing Christian themed shirts, and discussing Christian topics in the middle of the office corridors where not every employees of this company is a Christian. Ahh the double standard.

My saga continues over the T-shirt controversy as the HR manager asks questions of those involved in the decision to send me home, and to our parent companies HR department to find out their view of the situation and how things should have been handled. In the mean time, I’m uncomfortable being in the building today, and experiencing a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time, hatred toward me for something I can not, nor do I wish to change. I know it is their ignorance that will one day be their downfall. I know that I must be the bigger person and allow them their prejudice, but I don’t like this familiar feeling of being alone in the crowded office and not even able to look my department head in the face let alone the eye. He has forever lost my respect simply for the way in which he handled the situation. I guess it’s fitting that he is obviously uncomfortable around me today as well. He has not said a single word to me in the handful of time I have crossed his path and more than once he has seen me walking toward him in the hall and turned away rather than acknowledge my presence. Feels like high school all over again in so many ways!

Born into a world that will never understand you
Forced to live a life that will never make you whole
Spend your whole life wondering why it doesn’t feel right
Or listen to your heart and set yourself free
Stand up
Stand out
Stand tall
Never let their hate filled words break your resolve
You’re not a freak, a mistake of nature
You deserve to belong and to be loved
You are human too!

I'm beginning to feel the Winds of Change

This was too cool not to post ... taken directly from Whitehouse.gov WORD FOR WORD!

THE WHITE HOUSE
Office of the Press Secretary

___________________________________________________________
For Immediate Release June 1, 2009

LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER PRIDE MONTH, 2009
- - - - - - -
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION

Forty years ago, patrons and supporters of the Stonewall Inn in New York City resisted police harassment that had become all too common for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community. Out of this resistance, the LGBT rights movement in America was born. During LGBT Pride Month, we commemorate the events of June 1969 and commit to achieving equal justice under law for LGBT Americans.

LGBT Americans have made, and continue to make, great and lasting contributions that continue to strengthen the fabric of American society. There are many well-respected LGBT leaders in all professional fields, including the arts and business communities. LGBT Americans also mobilized the Nation to respond to the domestic HIV/AIDS epidemic and have played a vital role in broadening this country's response to the HIV pandemic.

Due in no small part to the determination and dedication of the LGBT rights movement, more LGBT Americans are living their lives openly today than ever before. I am proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration. These individuals embody the best qualities we seek in public servants, and across my Administration -- in both the White House and the Federal agencies -- openly LGBT employees are doing their jobs with distinction and professionalism.

The LGBT rights movement has achieved great progress, but there is more work to be done. LGBT youth should feel safe to learn without the fear of harassment, and LGBT families and seniors should be allowed to live their lives with dignity and respect.

My Administration has partnered with the LGBT community to advance a wide range of initiatives. At the international level, I have joined efforts at the United Nations to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Here at home, I continue to support measures to bring the full spectrum of equal rights to LGBT Americans. These measures include enhancing hate crimes laws, supporting civil unions and Federal rights for LGBT couples, outlawing discrimination in the workplace, ensuring adoption rights, and ending the existing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in a way that strengthens our Armed Forces and our national security. We must also commit ourselves to fighting the HIV/AIDS epidemic by both reducing the number of HIV infections and providing care and support services to people living with HIV/AIDS across the United States.

These issues affect not only the LGBT community, but also our entire Nation. As long as the promise of equality for all remains unfulfilled, all Americans are affected. If we can work together to advance the principles upon which our Nation was founded, every American will benefit. During LGBT Pride Month, I call upon the LGBT community, the Congress, and the American people to work together to promote equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of June, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third.

BARACK OBAMA

It's finally here!

So it’s the end of January already and I have yet to strap into my snowboard outside my own living room where I tested the gear to be sure everything was tight. Tomorrow, we rectify that problem!

Thanks to the failing economy, ski resorts in Northern Michigan are having a hard time filling their rooms and we got a STEAL on a week of timeshare at Boyne Mountain. Initially Jen and I were thinking a long weekend at Crystal with Tristan and Chris this year, then we discovered that would cost us about $700. Knowing Mom and Dad had at least one unused week of timeshare that expires this fall, I asked if we could cash it in for a week at Boyne for the same price, and permission was granted. While we waited to see what would happen with her grandmother’s health, Jen and I put a few weeks on hold, lost them, and eventually began to check out the option of buying a Last Call week rather than trading in a week of timeshare. As it turns out, we got the week, yes the ENTIRE WEEK for $263, tax included. It’s a two bedroom condo with a full kitchen at the base of Boyne Mountain and, for less than the cost of one night in their hotel, we have it for the full week.

Our intent is to spend our days and evenings sliding down the slopes of Boyne Mountain, Boyne Highlands, and Nubs Knob (with a possible side trip over to Crystal Mountain) starting tomorrow and continuing for the next five days. Tristan, who is 8 and in the third grade, has to be back in school Friday for his spelling test, Mother’s orders, and I will return to work Friday as well. I figured as long as I had to be back home in time for Tristan to be in bed at a decent time Thursday night, I might as well go to work myself Friday and only burn four days of vacation instead of five.

It is my hope that by the week’s end I will officially be a snowboarder. As of right now I am, at best, a nooB snowboarder who spends most of her time on her knees in the snow. As someone who grew up skiing, I have good balance but am having trouble adapting to the motion of turning on a snowboard because it is so different from anything I have ever done. Something about having both feet strapped to the same stick seems to be throwing me off. At any rate, both Jen and I are looking forward to our week in the snow and with a little luck, and a lot of practice, should graduate from the bunny hill to the beginner hill by the end of the week.

While I am away I will have internet access, it is a requirement for school, and will be posting photos and possible video for all to see. A little proof that it is possible to play in the snow and love every minute of it even after age 30. With the one exception of Tristan, all of us on this trip are well past 30, in fact at almost 32 I am the youngest of the adults in this crew.

President Obama Inauguration Speech

"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics. We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."
-Barack Obama Jan 20, 2009

It's Officially Over

So 1/20/2009 has come and Mr. Bush, more affectionately known by me as simply The Shrub, has handed over the keys of the Oval Office to our incoming President. Will it be different now? Will we actually see change in policy and economy? Will the promises made on that campaign trail fall by the wayside now that he has taken office? Or, is President Obama, I like the sound of that, a politician we can actually trust? Now there's something that flies in the face of everything I have encountered in my lifetime. A trustworthy politician . . . can that really happen?

It's been a long eight years of setbacks, oppression, and bigotry toward all walks of life that are not conservative republicans. Our civil liberties have been tossed by the wayside and trampled by those claiming it is in our best interest. Laws have been passed voiding civil rights for some and many of those flew directly in the face of our Constitution. In the name of National Security, laws were broken both against US citizens and internationally in what can only be classified as war crimes. All at the instruction, or lack of interference by The Shrub.

President Bush was nothing more than a mouthpiece for his party. He was a lame duck from the day he took office and his inability to speak in coherent sentences only proves how stupid the American public can be when you appeal to our fear of the unknown. The Shrub won his first election because Al Gore made a mistake and Brother Jedd fixed the election outcome in Florida, we've all figured this out by now. He won re-elections on the backs of all those who perished on 09/11/2001 and in the two wars that followed it. He convinced us that we would suffer another catastrophic attack if we did not elect him. Unfortunately, the majority bought into their fear and we still suffered one catastrophe after another over the last four years.

Our economy is the worst it has been since the Great Depression, our unemployment ranks are growing by double digit numbers each quarter, our stock exchanges have suffered tremendously from the deregulations era of The Shrub and his cronies. And our environment, while no drilling has happened in ANWAR, we are now drilling offshore in places that have been off limits for decades.

It's safe to say that we as a country, are a mess and the damage inflicted on us personally and as a people will take years to repair. I wish President Obama luck in his new role as our Commander and Chief. I hope he is the right man for the job and eventually we can restore our country, and or economy, to its glory days. I hope this a new beginning, a New Deal, a new chapter in our history that will not end with bloodshed and despair. I hope!

Emotions back within my comfort zone, and posting in public again

Just to lay your fears to rest, and stop the questioning e-mails I have gotten over the last week. I am here, I am breathing, and I am still writing. I have been busy with life and school, and I have been writing things that do not yet need to be in the public domain. Nevertheless, I have been writing!

The emotions are settling again, back down to levels that are far closer to my comfort zone. Much of what I have written over the last few weeks has been angry and filled with raw emotions. Some of it is in response to the past election and the passage of PropH8 in California, some about subjects that are not yet ready to be shared with the world. Writing is my refuge, it always has been, and lately it seems to be the only form of therapy I have left. The weather has turned cold and the landscape has become frozen again which prompted the parking of the motorcycle for the winter. There are no more warm summer days to spend riding wherever those two wheels could take me leaving all my worries and anger behind in a cloud of dust. I do not live close enough to the shores of Lake Superior where I can spend countless hours along its rugged cliffs allowing my emotions to blow away in the cool breeze that never seems to slow. The snow has not piled high enough yet to chase my nephew down the ski slopes and remember what it was like to be carefree in the wintry sunshine of Northern Michigan. This has left me my last vise of writing to keep the mind goblins from taking over my life. It has produced some ranting, angry, and somewhat depressing products but has also allowed me to begin work on another idea I’ve had for a book. It involves a piece I wrote a while back titled The Dream (which can be found in the new Downloads link at the top of this page) and might be more main stream than the first project Unconditional which was primarily written as a 300+ page letter to Jack.

In case you haven’t noticed, I have also been busily working on the update to this blog, hence the new layout and colors. There are still many tweaks to make, and things to adjust for aesthetic reasons, but it is live after weeks of coding and adjusting existing code. There is a post on the main page with a list of all the new features and known issues. If you have suggestions, comments, or bugs please post a comment to that post so that I can resolve them quickly.

11/15/08

A Straight Man's Point of View on Banning Gay Marriage

From the ashes of defeat ...

With the crushing blow in California last week I, much like every gay person I know, was left wondering if we would ever gain legal recognition and equality for OUR relationships, under any name on a national level. I disagree with those in the movement who believe that anything other than something called a marriage is not equal and would be happy to have a nationally recognized Civil Union provided it comes with all those legal benefits gifted to our married straight friends. I was so wrapped up in our defeat for the last week, licking my wounds tucked into the closet with the door half open, that I honestly forgot today was "The Day" in another state. And, it has happened!

Today is "The Day" for gay residents of Connecticut. Today the ruling of their State Supreme Court kicks in, a judge has cleared the way, and they have begun to give out marriage license applications to gay residents, and non residents since they are one step ahead of Massachusetts on that front. It is official, gay Americans can begin the journey to CT for a marriage from any state in the union, and then run home to the states they reside in and have nothing but a nice piece of paper to look at. Unfortunately, this is also the day that CT will appear on the radar screen of those so intent on killing the gay marriage movement in our country. Today is the day that their financial machine will go to work to get a ballot measure before the voters of that state and undo all the fairness their Supreme Court has extended. Sadly, the pessimistic side of me seems to reign these days and I know that the days of legal gay marriage in the states of MA and CT will be numbered in this post CA Prop H8 world, and sadly I don't know that there is much we can do to stop this train of bigotry.
Full Story Here

Tuesday 11/4/2008, the most important day in American History that has happened in my lifetime.

I missed the Boston Tea Party, the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, the end of legalized slavery, and the beginnings and endings of World War I and II. I was not even a glimmer in my parent’s eyes when President Kennedy was assonated in 1963, Martian Luther King was killed in 1968, or Neil Armstrong walked on the moon in 1969. I missed the bulk of the Civil Rights movement that began in the late 1950’s as a whisper of hope in the black community and became a wildfire of demonstrations and riots throughout the 1960’s and 70's and, in some places around this country still smolders today.

All of those important dates in our nations history were long before I was born or old enough to realize they were important at all. However, I was here and well aware of the importance of what took place on Tuesday November 4, 2008. It is the beginning and the end all at once. We ushered in a new era, one where every child of color has a positive role model that looks like the face in the mirror, one who came from a rocky start, and found himself on top after years of hard work and determination. Seeing the country pull together and vote in our first non-white-male president made me proud to be an American for a moment. We voted out racism, set our minor differences aside, and elected a candidate based on his credentials and campaign promises. Nobody can take that away from us, it was certainly one of our finest moments as a country. However, something else happened on that day in our history, something that went largely unnoticed by most citizens of this great nation, we voted against racism as a nation while at the same time voting for discrimination against another minority in four of our states.

In Arkansas, we voted to put the desires of adults who call themselves “good Christians” above the needs of children. We passed a new law outlawing adoptions and foster parenting of children for any person who is not living with their legal spouse. This move is widely seen as an anti-gay adoption law gone horribly wrong. Their intent was to keep children out of the homes of LGBT Americans but the outcry against the movement forced them to change the wording of the new law before it ever got onto the ballot. What they wound up with was a law that clearly states no child can be fostered or adopted by anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, race, religion, etc, who is not living with their legal spouse; and the voters in that state passed it anyway.

In California, Arizona, and Florida we voted to amend the State constitutions to prohibit any legal union for same-sex couples. This is not surprising as there are now some 30 states with these types of amendments in their constitutions, but it is heartbreaking each time another is added to that tally.

As a gay American I learned something from this election that I should have already known, we truly are 2nd class in the eyes of the majority. We stood up against racism, saw past the color of his skin, and elected Barack Obama. We finally put that last nail in the coffin of acceptable racism and slammed the door shut on our discriminatory past. For this, we all deserve a much-earned pat on the back. Unfortunately, the racism that once was seen as acceptable has been replaced by outright bigotry against LGBT Americans, and once again, we have proven that for every stride forward, something else takes two strides backward. This year it was the civil rights movement from the 1950’s and 60 that won the day, and it was the civil rights movement of LGBT Americans who lost.

I think it is safe to say that I am more deeply injured by the defeats this election year than I ever thought I could be. We have been here before, passing amendments to constitutions banning equality for LGBT relationships, and it has hurt in the past as well. However, this year is different. No longer do I feel like just another minority, standing shoulder to shoulder with the equally oppressed and discriminated against black community, now I feel suddenly left behind. Electing Barack Obama to be our 44th president has effectively ended the long held belief that persons of color are not equal in this country but all those years spent oppressing African-Americans has not simply come to an end, that energy must go somewhere. Based on the growing momentum behind the religious right and their efforts to limit the equality of LGBT Americans, it appears it has been refocused on us full force. And the majority in this counrty are either behind the momentum, or standing on the sidelines afraid to stand up against it.

400,440 votes needed

As of this writing (9:45 EST Wednesday 11/5/08) The votes were still being counted and will certainly be recounted at least once due to the close numbers on California’s Prop8 ballot measure. Currently it looks bleak for those of us who were hoping for a defeat with 5,125,752 votes FOR and 4,725,313 AGAINST the measure. There are still 5% of precincts who have not reported in yet, and those all important absentee ballots to count so while unlikely for a defeat, it is still mathematically possible at this point.

So what happens to the movement if Prop8 passes? Will it signal an end to Gay Marriage in America with 28 states now banning it outright in their State Constitutions?


I spent most of my morning scouring the net for updates on how the vote counting on Prop8 was going, if there was any hope left for a defeat of this hateful measure. I ran the gamut of emotions from excitement to disappointment and finally defeat as the outlook seems to be almost in the bag for passing this thing. I have not given up all hope for a miracle defeat found in those yet uncounted absentee ballots and unreported precincts, but that flame is not as bright as it once was. I have gradually come to terms with the reality that this battle may have been lost and California, long thought of as our Leftist Left State has gone conservative on this one divisive issue. It saddens me to see this happen, particularly in a state I believed was open minded enough to see through the scare tactics used by those who support ending same-sex marriage, and for an hour or two this morning I had lost hope in one day marring my partner of 12.5 years.

In my frenzy to get information about how Prop8 was doing out west I glassed over every news story I ran into about the Presidential election that also took place yesterday. I already knew Obama had won, I watched CNN call it at almost exactly 11:02pm EST while trying to find someplace to give me information about state ballot measures also up for decision. I was and am an Obama supporter and seeing him come out the victor in his race made me a little less fearful of the next four years once we end the ERROR on 1/20/09. However, it was only moments ago that I realized what it really means.

It was not all that long ago that persons of color, and by that I mean ALL whose skin is not lily white regardless of ethnic origin or racial mixtures, were fighting for their equality in this country. They were denied entrance to businesses, admission to school, employment, and housing in certain parts of this country. In time, they would change the laws and views of the rest of the country and gradually gain acceptance in most parts of the country. While their civil rights have come a long way, there are still cases of discrimination and violence against this sect of the population daily all across the country, yet we just collectively elected a mixed race, non-Caucasian, young male to be our nations leader. How is this possible? One word answers that question, HOPE. We, those who supported and voted for Obama are hoping for change, hoping for a better tomorrow, hoping for someone to stop the bleeding of jobs and money from a badly beaten economy. We were inspired by his speeches, his willingness to address the people on their level, to walk through the rough streets of our inner cities and ask it’s residents for one simple thing, to register to vote. He did not ask them to vote for him, he asked them to VOTE, to let their voice be heard on Election Day, and to stand up for something they believed in. In doing so, he showed compassion for them, their situations, and their lives, something that resonated with millions of voters nation wide and brought about his eventual victory.

It is this hope I am clinging to today, tomorrow, and every day after until OUR time comes. If a country can elect a man like Barack Obama, without seeming to care about his race or ethnicity, but instead voting for his ideals and his message of hope, then not all hope is lost in our fight for equality. One day change will come. One day DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) will fall, one day I will be able to legally marry my spouse in any state of my choosing and claim the rights I am entitled to. One Day!

And so it begins

Today is guaranteed to be an historic election day with the possible outcomes involving either a female Vice President or a non-Caucasian male President taking the oath of office on Jan 20, 2009. The polls are open, the lines have long since formed, and here in Michigan we have, for the first time in our state’s history, 98% of the eligible voting population registered to vote. There is no guarantee that all those registered will actually cast a ballot in this election, but on at least one front the Obama campaign has won. They worked long and hard on their campaign to get people registered to vote in this election. They targeted those who often feel the candidates are so out of touch with their lives that they don’t bother to register. They targeted those of poor, minority, and uneducated neighborhoods in portions of this state that most of us pretend do not exist. They canvassed every college campus they could find and registered voters right up to the last minutes of the deadline all across this state and the rest of the country. In that respect, Mr. Obama has already won. Now we wait to see if all those that his campaign volunteers managed to register will cast their votes in his favor.

Today is guaranteed to be an historic election day with the possible outcomes involving either a female Vice President or a non-Caucasian male President taking the oath of office on Jan 20, 2009. The polls are open, the lines have long since formed, and here in Michigan we have, for the first time in our state’s history, 98% of the eligible voting population registered to vote. There is no guarantee that all those registered will actually cast a ballot in this election, but on at least one front the Obama campaign has won. They worked long and hard on their campaign to get people registered to vote in this election. They targeted those who often feel the candidates are so out of touch with their lives that they don’t bother to register. They targeted those of poor, minority, and uneducated neighborhoods in portions of this state that most of us pretend do not exist. They canvassed every college campus they could find and registered voters right up to the last minutes of the deadline all across this state and the rest of the country. In that respect, Mr. Obama has already won. Now we wait to see if all those that his campaign volunteers managed to register will cast their votes in his favor.

While the choice of our next president hangs in the balance, and will certainly take center stage of the news coverage today and tomorrow, there is another election I am following closely. One which I care about just as much, if not more than the fight for out nation’s top office. On the West coast of this great country there is a battle raging that will directly affect my life, and my rights in the very near future. Not long ago this very same battle was fought, and sadly lost here in Michigan but this time the stakes are higher. California has already legalized same-sex marriage in their state and over the last few months, have married thousands of same-sex couples. Now, with millions of dollars generated by the Religions Right, they are going to the polls today to cast their vote not only for our next president, but also to defeat or approve Proposition 8, which would amend their State Constitution to end same-sex marriage in California forever.

While it might be obvious to some why I care about the outcome of this election in California, the obvious reason is only the tip of the iceberg. The backers of Prop 8 have all stated that this is their “last stand against Gay Marriage.” That should they lose their fight to amend the California State Constitution “it will not be long before gay marriage is in every state across the nation.” While they see this as a horrific chain of events, I see it as the beginning of an end to legal discrimination against same-sex couples across the country.

Beginning on the east coast, Massachusetts legalized same-sex marriage in their state and got the ball rolling. Not long after their decision, the 2004 elections saw 11 states with ballot measures pass and write discrimination into their state constitutions, Michigan was sadly one of those states that year. Even sadder, it was nothing more than a political chess move for either republican party to get the conservative voters to the polls and re-elect President Bush to a final term. It worked like a charm and every one of those 11 states who passed their anti-marriage amendments had close results in the presidential race as well with the majority of those going to Bush. Now, just four short years later, we have arrived at the pinnacle battle of this fight for equality, California.
If the voters of California, known for their liberal views on equality and tolerance, can manage to reject Prop 8 it will send a clear message to the rest of the country that writing discrimination into State Constitutions shall not be tolerated. It will re-energize the legal fight to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which flies in the face of our nations Constitution guaranteeing full Faith and Credit to all citizens. It will turn the tide of change in our favor and, eventually, DOMA will fall. And THAT, ladies and gentleman, the fall of DOMA is what we have been fighting for since the day it was signed into law by President Clinton shortly before leaving office in his last term. Without DOMA, all of the states who have passed constitutional amendments prohibiting the recognition of same-sex marriage certificates will be forced to remove them. The Full Faith and Credit amendment of the US Constitution guarantees that a contract, which legal marriage is, deemed valid and binding in one state of the union, must also be recognized as legal and binding in every state of the union. Quite simply, a win in California today means that the tsunami of change currently building up on the West Coast will swell and begin to wash away the discrimination across the country as legal battle after legal battle chips away at DOMA. Soon enough the US Supreme court will have no choice but to hear the case they have been ignoring since DOMA was signed. Soon enough the voice of the people will be heard, and it is my hope that it starts today with the voice of California, a state who has long since been our loudest champion of equality and fairness and their resounding defeat of Prop 8.

A little proof that I am still breathing

All right, it’s been over a week and it’s time to start writing again. The economy is still tanking on a week-by-week basis and my investment account is shrinking almost daily. The election ads are still running though the McCain camp wants the world to believe they have abandoned Michigan as a lost cause. Seems like yet another political chess move that backfired on the republicans because for every “red” ad there is a “blue” one that both precedes and follows it in all forms of media with most of them funded by non-partisan groups like the UAW.


Work is, well, work. We have finally hired a new PC Technician to fill in the huge gaps created close to three years ago when our company made major staffing reductions. Woo hoo! Finally, somebody else can start answering the “I forgot my password” calls while I concentrate on larger projects that have been collecting dust for the past three years. Unfortunately, this also means that we have to train the newB, he’s right out of college and has little to no “real world” experience so this will take a while. I remember being young and green, though I began working in the field while still in college, and I’m trying to give the kid the same kind of chance I had when I was in his shoes. I was fortunate enough to have a boss that trusted me, was patient with me, and encouraged me to step outside of my shell and do things I was totally uncomfortable with almost daily. He challenged me to do phone support within weeks of joining the company and against my better judgment, I agreed to give it a shot. Anyone who knew me right out of high school knows how shy I was back then but somehow the security of not being face to face with the person allowed me to excel at my new duties and eventually I moved into a role of face-to-face support. Almost fifteen years later and I now find myself in the position to groom a new generation of tech support and will gladly hand over the reigns of day-to-day user support as soon as the newB is ready to take them.

The book, well it’s finished and awaiting a decision on who should publish it for the masses. I have three offers on the table from three different subsidy publishers at the moment. I am not certain subsidy is the way to go, so they sit there while I consider other options. I like the idea of 50% royalties on every sale, but that will only help recoup the initial out of pocket expense of $500-$600 if the book actually sells. As an unknown author, there are no guarantees and I would be relying heavily on the publisher’s marketing machine to get it out there for me. Since I can’t seem to find much on either of the companies out there, good or bad, I am taking my time in making this decision. In the mean time, I have updated the version available through the lulu.com storefront with the new chapters, tweaks to existing ones, and the current cover. I hope to see Jack next weekend and drop of his copy, Stacey is next on my list, and by Christmas it should be in the hands of all those I have promised final versions to.

Speaking of next weekend, the bike, sadly, has gone north for the winter and I will be pulling it out of the trailer and parking it in the back of the barn at Mom and Dad’s next weekend. I am hopeful that the weather will hold out for me at least one day and I can take a final ride, burn a little more gas out of the half-full tank, and clean the remainder of thousands of dead insects from the chrome before parking it for the next five months. It will signal my official end of summer and may induce a state of depression for a few days, but have no fear, I’ll just write to make it all go away instead of climbing on my bike and letting my sadness blow in the wind. I have a new story to tell, one that will require my attention in the coming months while I wait for spring to arrive and can once again use my motorcycle as therapy. Maybe by then I’ll have a sailboat to use instead and the motorcycle will just be a fun form of transportation with excellent gas mileage.

It is slightly past mid-October, the holidays are looming in the near future, and the leaves are finally falling from the trees everywhere I look. School is puttering along nicely and except for this weeks assignments has come and gone without much real head scratching on my part. Given a little time at home over the next two days I should manage this weeks assignment as well and can concentrate on finishing up this final project once and for all. Then it’s on to the next six weeks of Java where we will complete the book and I may need to spend more time writing code than I currently do. I have a backup plan, Eric has taken Java and should be able to assist if I get in a bind. I haven’t had to call yet, but he’s been warned. Provided Jen cooks dinner he says he’s willing to do a little java tutoring if need be.

And now you are up to speed


Three strikes and we’re on to try number four in a few weeks

Palin pulls a Kwamee, did she just sink the ship?

With all the posts lately about sinking ships, it brings me GREAT joy to post this entry about another ship that may be on the verge of going under; the McCain Palin presidential ticket! It appears that little miss governor of Alaska abused her authority while in office for such a short time. We here in the metro Detroit area call that a Kwamee Move, and eventually they do catch up with you.

Full story here

Can I get a witness?

And we now have, or will soon have THREE states in this union who allow equality in marriage laws for same-sex and opposite-sex couples. Welcome to the fold Connecticut! Now if only we didn't have so many states, including the one sad little Rust Belt state I reside in, who amended their constitutions to prohibit such equality. It will take a repeal of DOMA to marry in my state, but post November election season hopefully that will be the next legal task high on the heels of a successful defeat of Prop 8.

Full Story Here

Chairs arranged, now I'm joining the band

So the down right tragic events on Wall Street, and in financial markets around the world for that matter, have me wondering how much longer this ship can stay afloat. Every time I see a stock chart, or see the Dow Jones Industrial(DIJ) making historic moves I just can't seem to get this picture out of my head.
To go along with this visual, I thought I would also share the lyrics to two songs I remember from my camp days about the most memorable sunken ship in history. I've finished aranging all the deck chairs and will now join the band, now what did I do with my drum sticks?

Join me in the band

Dance Band on the Titanic
Artist:Harry Chapin

(chorus)
Dance band on the Titanic
Sing "Nearer, my God, to Thee
"The iceberg's on the starboard bow
Won't you dance with me

Mama stood cryin' at the dockside
Sayin' "Please son, don't take this trip
"I said "Mama, sweet Mama, don't you worry none"
"Even God couldn't sink this ship"

Well, the whistle blew and they turned the screws
It turned the water into foam
Destination sweet salvation
Goodbye home sweet home

I'm in the
(chorus)

There was a trombone and a saxophone
The bass and drums were cookin' up the bandstand
And I was strummin' in the middle with this dude on the fiddle
And we were three days out from land

And now the foghorn's jammed and moanin
'Hear it groanin' through the misty night
I heard the lookout shout down "There's icebergs around"
"But still everything's all right"

(chorus)

They were burnin' all the flares for candles
In the banquet they were throwin' in first class
And we were blowin' waltzes in the barroom
When the universe went CRASH!

"There's no way that this could happen"
I could hear the old captain curse
He ordered lifeboats away, that's when I heard the chaplain say
"Women and children and chaplains first"

Well, they soon used up all of the lifeboats
But there were a lot of us left on board
I heard the drummer sayin' "Boys, just keep playin'"
"Now we're doin' this gig for the Lord"

I heard the (chorus)

There's a wild-eyed boy in the radio shack
He's the last remaining guest
He was tappin' in a Morse code frenzy
Tappin' "Please God, S.O.S."

Jesus Christ can walk on the water
But a music man will drown
They say that Nero fiddled while Rome burned up
Well, I was strummin' as the ship go down

(chorus)

Didn't I see this in the movies?

The Titanic

It was on one Monday morning
Just about one o'clock
When that great ship Titanic
Began to reel and rock
People began to scream and cry
Saying Lord I'm a-gonna die
It was sad when that great ship went down.

(chorus)
It was sad, it was sad, it was sad
When that great ship went down
Husbands and wives
Little children lost their lives
It was sad when that great ship went down.

When that ship left England
It was making for the shore
The rich refused to associate
With the poor
So they put the poor below
They were the first to go
It was sad when that great ship went down.

(chorus)

When they were a-building
They said what they would do
We will build a ship
That the water can't go through
But God with power in hand
Showed the world that it could not stand
It was sad when that great ship went down.

(chorus)

The people on that ship
Were a long way from home
With friends all around
They didn't know that the time had come
Death came riding by
Fifteen hundred had to die
It was sad when that great ship went down.

(chorus)

When Paul was sailing
His men all around
God told him
That not a man should drown
If you trust in me and obey
I will save you all the day
It was sad when that great ship went down.

(chorus)

You know it must have been awful
With those people on the sea
It's said that they were singing
Nearer My God to Thee
While some were homeward bound
Fifteen hundred had to drown
It was sad when that great ship went down.

(chorus)

By William and Versey Smith

It's that important

And the internet juggernaut weighs in. Google Opposes Prop 8