A little uninspired ...

I’ve not been writing lately, have no drafts as promised for the new project. I’ve not been doing much of anything except work, school, and of course Facebook these days. Last night Jen and I put on the new roller blades and went for a slow roll around the block. It has been YEARS since either of us has been on a pair of skates, far more for her than I, yet we both made it safely from start to finish with not a single fall. Tonight perhaps we can do two laps, or maybe climb on the bike and go for a leisurely ride instead. That may help to clear my head, inspire me to write again, perhaps to get him out of it for a bit. Funny how that seems to help.

In the winter, I board, keeps me level headed, calm, and peaceful; except when it frustrates the hell out of me because I can’t managed to turn the right way and fall on my butt over and over on a run. In the Summer I use to sail and hope to resume that recreational activity once again very soon. Last year I found a new means of maintaining my sanity, riding my motorcycle. Something about the freedom, the wind in my face, the uninhibited connection with my surroundings rolling along the pavement on two wheels has the same effect on me as boarding, sailing, and hanging with Jack for any length of time.

Is it possible that spending time with someone can produce the same type of effects on your psyche as other “substances” and eventually lead to withdrawals when they are not around?

He’s there when I close my eyes again, across the room in his favorite chair staring out the window at the waves. Occasionally I hear a question, in his voice not my own, and I wonder if I should answer. The more time I spend away from him, the more frequently he wanders through my thoughts. The more I look for a reason to make time to spend with him, as if I really need one. I know exactly what will happen the moment I set foot out of the car, and that simply wanting to spend a little time hanging out is reason enough. Yet I can’t come up with what to say in an e-mail other than to ask if his weekend schedule has cleared any since I heard from him last in the first week of March. And so the withdrawals continue until I eventually get inspired enough to contact him again and request a little of his weekend time once again. In the mean time, the bikes, motor and peddle variety, will have to fill that growing void I feel inside.