Generally this time of year I spend an hour or so typing up a blog recapping my last year’s main events … for those who missed it as they were happening. This year, I’ll get to it! Before I can recap the last year in one long post, I needed to type out a recap of just the last three weeks of 2008, since so much happened that I stopped Blogging as a whole during most of those three weeks. Details are fuzzy, a lot happened, but to the best of my knowledge I have everything in the right order and the dates that are given are correct.
The last thing I remember in full vivid detail was heading home from work December 18, 2008. I was wondering if I would be going to work the next day due to an impending snow storm headed our way. As it turns out my instincts were right and I wound up taking a much needed snow day on Friday December 19, 2008. I awoke to a minimal 2” of snow at 7am but it was quickly piling up and by noon, we had close to a foot of new white powder covering everything in sight. Jen and I attempted to do a little running later in the afternoon and were quite happy that we had not decided to venture to work that day when we saw the condition of the roads. I also remember a phone call later that evening that began a chain of events I am both happy and sad have taken place.
Jen called her sister for something, for what I don’t recall, but after a short discussion about how her grandmother was doing, she made another phone call. It was quickly decided that we would spend time Saturday afternoon in Flushing, at her dying grandmother’s house. Jen’s uncle Dennis from Burlington, VT was still in town, he arrived just before Thanksgiving after learning how ill his mother was, and his son Marty was on his way to Michigan to see his grandmother one last time before she died. And we would later discover just how perfect his timing was.
Saturday was in fact spent almost entirely at the home of Jen’s grandmother. It was not my first choice, yet I knew that was where she needed to be and it would have been unfair of me to not accompany her. It was the last weekend before Christmas, we had a ton of things to get done before the holidays were fully upon us, yet somehow allowing Jen time to spend with her family, both immediate and extended, giving her the chance most of us never get, to say good-bye and make peace with the passing of her grandmother, her last living grand parent, before her final breaths were taken; it just seemed right. And so my personal priority list was adjusted, moving Jen’s family, both immediate and extended, to the top of the list and adjusting our holiday plans to fit as well.
The phone call to my mother explaining that she had two choices, see us Christmas Eve and allow us to leave mid morning on Christmas Day, or not see us at all for Christmas this year did not exactly go well, but it went better than expected.. I knew what her choice would be, though neither option made her happy. And so, rather than the tradition of spending both Christmas Eve and all of Christmas Day with my family, this year we were destined to split the two days between 300 miles and two families. It was a pain but we made it work, and Jen was able to keep the promise she made to her grandmother that WE, both Jen and I would be there at her house on Christmas Day this year.
After spending time both Saturday and Sunday with Jen’s grandmother, we returned home to tackle some of the other items on the priority list, like finishing the required shopping and wrapping presents for the family. A few minutes after 6:00 Sunday night Jen got the phone call we had been both expecting and dreading since hearing the news that her grandmother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer just before Thanksgiving. I knew who it was, and why they were calling before I ever got up off the couch to get the phone. I remember checking caller ID and then handing Jen the phone, the next week is a blur.
Somewhere in there was another phone call, early the following morning if my memory is correct, telling us what the funeral arrangements would be, or at least what day it would be, and I know that both Jen and I went to work that day. I turned in my time off request for the funeral day I am entitled to and put in my 8 hours for the week. I remember more wrapping of gifts, packing, driving, and snow. I remember bad roads on the way to Mom and Dad’s wreaking havoc on my car about 70 miles from their house and making the decision to just keep driving. I remember knee deep snow in the driveway, parking my car in the garage after Dad built a fire hoping that it was just ice packed someplace it didn’t belong that was causing my car troubles, and I remember crashing later that night December 23, 2008 in a normally uncomfortable bed feeling like I was sleeping on a cloud.
December 24, 2008 the circus arrived at my parent’s house in the form of my two older sisters, their dogs, all four of them, the three nieces, and a brother-in-law. Suddenly the house I grew up in was far too small again and both Jen and I wondered if this should be our last Christmas spent with them there. I remember bickering, fighting, yelling, and occasional laughter mixed in. It was a typical holiday with my family! I remember attending church on Christmas Eve as it tradition, what else is one suppose to do on Christmas Eve but bow to the wishes of their parents, swallow their hatred for all things related to the church they grew up in, and sit quietly in the pew wishing the place would somehow be destroyed by an act of God as punishment for their hypocrisy? Ahh but that is another story all together, one with a much darker tone to it and something I shall save for another time. Back to the blur … There was a moment, or a few of them where Jen thought she had lost her ring in the snow and I left the service to go and look for it. Fearing it lost forever and believing it to be irreplaceable many tears were shed before it was eventually found in her pants pocket. She had tucked it there for safe keeping while she applied hand lotion before leaving the house that night. Sadly, that is the one event of the evening that sticks out in my mind, the rest blend together with those of the following morning. I know there were gifts that were opened, some that were liked, some that we’re not certain of. I know there was much laughter and excitement from the two elder nieces as they opened each package and moved on to the next, and I know I was happy to see that my parents had bought me the one big gift I had asked for and was certain they would not.
Sometime mid morning on Christmas Day, Jen and I packed the car and headed south. We drove through more snow and ice coated roads but somehow managed to make it far enough south that clear pavement was found, time was made up, and we were among the first to arrive for Christmas with her family. The remainder of this day blends in to the following two which were spent with the same people, just in a different location. Friday 12/26/2008 was spent at the funeral home in Chesning, MI for the visitation from 11am to 8pm, with a short dinner break in there from 4-6pm. The funeral was Saturday with a dinner to follow and by 4pm both Jen and I were finally home, changed, and cuddling on the couch for the first time in close to a week. Christmas had come and gone, New Years was on its way, and both Jen and I were unsure of what day of the week it was let alone where we would be spending our time over the next week.
I remember going to sleep Sunday night looking forward to a short work week and another long weekend that I would actually be able to enjoy. I was hoping to have time to spend with Jen, alone, and possibly get a few things done around the house. Mostly I was hoping to begin to recoup some of the sleep that was lost over Christmas and begin to separate our daily life from that of Jen’s family. We spent more time with her extended family over the final two weeks of December than we have in the last two years! Monday morning I awoke to the alarm and was happy to go to work. The day was easy and a little boring since the office was mostly out on vacation, but I managed to finish up the final tweaks for the prototype of Dennis’ website, burn it to disc, and hand deliver it when we arrived for a “final” family dinner Monday night.
The remainder of 2008 was spent running errands, cleaning the house, working on projects we intended to have done before Christmas, and the annual New Years Eve Game Night with Jen’s immediate family. So far in 2009, all five days of it, it looks like things are returning to normal and life can move forward finally.
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