The first chapter ... with a little re-write

As the chilly north wind blew across the open waters of the lake she sat watching the leaves swirl around her feet. The air smelled of snow and a shiver ran through her body as she sat in the cold sand leaning against a tree. Slowly caressing the smooth barrel of the glock with her thumb she whispered to herself “Funny how it shines, even in the dark; must be a reflection of the moon or something.”

She was regaining her nerve. Tears filled her eyes as she again clicked off the safety. With trembling hands she slowly raised the cold metal barrel to her temple once more.

“What will it do to those you leave behind?” The question echoed from inside her head. It was the voice of a friend and a question she had been asked many times.

Violently she slammed her head back against the trunk of the tree and screamed into the darkness “I don’t know! I don’t care! Get out of there, just leave me alone. Why can’t you just let me do this?”

Silently she sat atop the sandy cliff along the shore of the lake. She had been here before, standing on the edge of sanity staring death in the face. This time she thought she could go through with it; she knew it was the only way to end her torment. With a quick pull of the trigger her pain would vanish into the moonlit night forever, but what about his? “What will it do to those you leave behind? I believe in you.” again the echo in her head spoke.

With a quiver in her voice she whispered “I can’t do this to him. I have to make sure he knows it’s not his fault.” She squeezed her eyes tight trying to interrupt the constant flow of tears.

The open end of the barrel slid down her cheek slowly as she began to find the resolve to live just one more day. Tomorrow is a new day. He’ll be at school tomorrow. We can talk, maybe it will be okay. I have to at least tell him it’s not his fault. He has to know he couldn’t have done anything else.

Slowly she rose from her sandy perch high above the water below and began to brush the leaves from her legs with her empty hand. She looked out over the lake once more and was about to make her way back to the trail when she heard it; as loud as anything she had ever heard. BANG!

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