okay I finally sat down and responded to Libby's e-mail.....kind of long but here it is:

Libby,

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner but I thought it best to think about what I was going to say before I replied. My initial reaction was not a nice one and after talking with Jen I decided that I needed to respond with my true feelings not just a knee jerk reaction to hearing from you again. I've spent a few days putting some thought into what I should say to you, I'm not sure how much of it will come out in this e-mail, and I think my head is clear enough to respond now.

I'm not exactly sure where I should begin so I'll just start with where I'm at today. I am currently married (as close as we can legally get to it at least) to Jennifer and have been for 7 and a half years. I did go to Oakland University in the fall of 95 for psychology but found that my heart wasn't really into it. I later transferred to Baker College and have since graduated with a degree in Computer Networking Technology. I've always been a techie nerd at heart and was fortunate enough to find someone willing to take me under their wing and get me started in the business very early on. I have been working in the field since 1997 and am currently a Network Administrator @ TRW Automotive in Fenton, Mi. I build pc's on the side for fun and maintain my personal website silentlegacy.com. I also spend as much time as possible camping, backpacking, birding, painting, drawing, playing my guitar(s), and writing. Jennifer and I have talked about starting a family and if all goes well by this time next year there will be a baby on the way. I never really thought I would have kids but it seems the older I get the more I see them in my immediate future. A lot has changed in my life since I knew you. And most of it for the better.

My original e-mail was not really a jab to get my name taken down, I am actually trying to get my name out there myself. That is why I was running a search on Google for it. I have submitted my site to them a few times, but have not shown up in the directory yet, so every once in a while I run a search for my name to see if the link is there. I honestly don't care if you leave me out there on your Q&A page I have nothing to hide, including my relationship with you. I am "out" to everyone I know, family included. I never sat down and told my extended family, but if they haven't figured it out by now they are dumber than I thought. It's not an issue in my life and my family and I don't talk about it much. They know that Jennifer and I plan to spend the rest of our lives together and they accept her as part of the family. I am "out" at work as well. It was a big deal, and I was the talk of the water cooler, for about two days. But I am not the only one here and, again, nobody really cares. They all understand that my private life does not in any way affect my job performance and it's another one of those things you just never talk about. I'm honest to anyone who will ask the question but I am not someone who introduces myself like "Hi I'm Shannon and I'm gay." I never put much stock in labels and am perfectly happy just being a unique individual who happens to also be head over heels in love with someone of the same sex.

I'll be honest, I'm glad that you are sorry. I never asked you to spend your summer at Old Mission nor did I promise to be there with you. I also know that the relationship was ending long before you ever left school. It was ending long before I left school in January. I don't hold any grudges, at least not anymore. I admit I was hurt that you ended it that way but I know now that it was for the best. I don't think we ever had a good relationship as partners. I did at the time. I use to think that was the way it was suppose to be. I've grown up since then and realize that a life long partnership has a lot of give and take. We never had that. We had a lot of giving and taking but it always seemed to be in one direction. I don't regret anything, not the friendship, not the partnership, nothing about us except that we were not meant to be together. We are too different.

As for a friendship, the honest answer is I don't know. We have some things to get straight between us before I can even think about a long term friendship. I am not sure we can get past our differences anymore either. I overlooked them when were going out, and ignored them if and when they came up. I am not sure I can do that anymore. I'm not saying you can never contact me again, just that there are some deep issues we need to talk about between us. If we can get that taken care of without hating each other again then you and I will need to talk with Jennifer together. She knows the good the bad and the ugly about you and I, we have no secrets, and I intend to keep it that way. I know that she is looking out for my best interest and I have to warn you she is far more cautious than I am about any friendship between us. She is not jealous, vindictive, or our to get you in any way but she knows our history and is not about to let me walk back into an ambush and be hurt again.

I have said my peace and will leave it up to you about future contact. I make no promises other than I will not just leave you hanging. If I decide it won't work I will let you know not just ignore the e-mail.

Shannon